Hello.
I’m a Canada goose.
Yes… THAT kind of goose.
The kind humans usually cross the street to avoid.
The kind that can clear a park path with one look.
The kind with a reputation.
I was supposed to stand proudly in Susan’s garden looking majestic and slightly intimidating.
Then one day she looked at me and said…
“You need an outfit.”
Excuse me?
An outfit?
Lady… I’m a Canada goose. My ancestors chased golfers, stopped traffic, and took over entire beaches.
And now I’m wearing a little scarf?
At first, I resisted.
I stood there with my serious goose face thinking, “This is embarrassing.”
Then the compliments started.
“Oh my gosh, look at the goose!”
“Where did you get him?”
“He’s adorable!”
Adorable?
Me?
A Canada goose?
Fine. I’ll admit it… the plaid does bring out my feathers.
Now I have accepted my fate.
Spring outfit? Sure.
Raincoat? Why not.
Christmas sweater? I’ll allow it.
But let’s be clear…
I am not one of those ordinary porch geese.
I am Canadian.
I’m polite, but I still reserve the right to silently judge the neighbours.
So if you walk past Susan’s house and see me dressed for the season, just remember…
Behind this cute little outfit is still a goose who could ruin a picnic if he wanted to.
I’m not just a porch goose.
I’m a Canada porch goose.
And apparently… I’m fabulous. 🪿❤️🇨🇦
