I know we’re supposed to appreciate all four seasons equally.
We don’t.
Fall is clearly the best one.
There. I said it.
Spring sounds lovely in theory, but let’s be honest. Spring in Canada is basically three months of standing at the window wondering, “Do I need a coat?”
You leave the house wearing a sweater, a winter coat and boots. By 2 p.m. you’re carrying all three while sweating in a grocery store parking lot.
And everything is wet.
The dog is wet.
The lawn is wet.
Your shoes are wet.
And somewhere under that melting snow is six months’ worth of dog poop you apparently agreed to deal with when you said, “Let’s get a dog!”
🌸 Spring has been eliminated.
Then comes summer.
Everyone waits all winter for summer like it’s going to be magical.
And for approximately 11 minutes, it is.
Then it’s 34 degrees, the humidity is 900%, and you’re sitting directly in front of the air conditioner wondering why anyone willingly goes outside.
You can’t sleep.
Your thighs are sticking to patio furniture.
There are mosquitoes the size of hummingbirds.
And suddenly you’re paying $47 for two hamburgers and a drink because eating outside on a patio is apparently an experience.
☀️ Summer has been eliminated.
Winter?
Oh, winter.
Winter is beautiful.
For about six hours.
The first snowfall comes down and we’re all standing at the window saying:
“Ohhhh, look how pretty!”
By February we’re scraping ice off the windshield with an old Tim Hortons rewards card because we can’t find the scraper.
There’s salt everywhere.
Your boots leave puddles.
It gets dark at approximately lunchtime.
And every trip outside requires 14 pieces of clothing.
❄️ Winter has been eliminated.
Which leaves us with…
🍂 FALL.
Glorious, wonderful fall.
The temperature is perfect.
You can wear jeans without sweating.
You can put on a sweater without needing a parka over it.
You can sleep with the window cracked open and actually use the blankets you spent good money on.
The bugs start disappearing.
The leaves are gorgeous.
The air smells amazing.
And suddenly we’re all buying decorative pumpkins that serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever.
“Look at this one! It’s lumpy!”
Into the cart it goes.
Fall also gives us permission to eat differently.
Soup becomes exciting again.
Chili becomes a personality.
We start baking things with apples.
And pumpkin spice appears in absolutely everything whether anybody asked for it or not.
Coffee? Pumpkin spice.
Muffins? Pumpkin spice.
Candles? Pumpkin spice.
Hand soap? Pumpkin spice.
At this point I’m surprised nobody has released pumpkin-spice windshield washer fluid.
And then there’s the best part…
Fall clothes.
Ohhhh, fall clothes.
Sweaters.
Jeans.
Boots.
Shackets.
Scarves.
Clothes that actually cover things.
Summer says, “Here’s a sleeveless shirt. Good luck.”
Fall says, “Would you like a lovely oversized sweater that hides everything?”
YES, FALL. I WOULD.
At our age, that’s not fashion.
That’s a public service.
So while the other seasons certainly have their moments, fall wins.
Not too hot.
Not too cold.
No snow shovel.
No mosquitoes.
No bathing suit.
And you can walk around holding a hot drink while wearing a cute sweater and pretending you’re in a Hallmark movie.
🍁 Fall: 10/10. No notes.
Now tell me…
What’s YOUR favourite season — and if it isn’t fall, please explain yourself. 😂🍂
— Arctic Blonde Society