Apparently, they aren’t selling used clothes anymore.
They’re selling…
VINTAGE. 😂
Ladies, when exactly did this happen?
That jean jacket somebody donated during a closet clean-out?
Vintage.
Those high-waisted jeans we wore until the zipper practically reached our bra?
Vintage.
That purse Aunt Linda carried for 14 years?
Vintage.
Apparently all you have to do is wait long enough and second-hand becomes vintage.
At this rate, I should probably stop donating my clothes because apparently…
I’ve been giving away my retirement fund.
And that’s when I discovered something even more disturbing.
Apparently everything WE wore is vintage now.
Excuse me?!
I didn’t wear vintage clothing.
I was just alive.
Jean jackets? Vintage.
Oversized sweatshirts? Vintage.
Big belts? Vintage.
Scrunchies? Vintage.
Chunky white sneakers? Vintage.
Acid-wash jeans?
VINTAGE.
Ladies, I wore acid-wash jeans the first time around.
We didn’t buy them because they were retro. We bought them because they looked fabulous with our enormous hair and a sweatshirt hanging off one shoulder.
Now young women are paying good money for jeans that are faded, ripped and distressed.
We spent years trying to keep our clothes looking new.
They’re paying extra for clothes that look like they helped somebody move a refrigerator.
And can we discuss the fact that clothes from the 1990s are now considered vintage?
The 1990s?!
That was approximately 17 years ago.
I will not be accepting corrections at this time.
Now I see young women walking around in mom jeans, oversized sweatshirts, chunky sneakers and claw clips like they’ve discovered an entirely new aesthetic.
Sweetheart…
That’s what I wore to BiWay.
And don’t even get me started on shoulder pads.
If those come back, I expect a formal apology.
So I’ve made a decision.
I’m no longer saying I’m getting older.
I’m not old.
I’m not even vintage.
I’m LIMITED EDITION.
And judging by the prices at Value Village…
Apparently I’m worth a fortune. 😂
So tell me, ladies: What did YOU wear back in the day that you cannot believe is fashionable again?
